Another day of feeling inadequate.

Today was the state exam in United States History, which was pretty easy. I don’t think I got below an 85. I talked to a lot of people at school and held a few conversations, so my social anxiety wasn’t too bad today. I’m still waiting for my mom to make my psychologist appointment. 

I’m sitting in my bed, like always. I’m using my laptop to go on Tumblr and play World of Warcraft, like always. I’m seeing pictures of attractive men and feeling worthless, like always. 

Today was a good day. Good things happened to me. But for some reason which I still can’t discern, I can’t be happy. It’s like there’s some neuron in my brain destined to make me feel like nothing more than an insect. I hope I don’t feel this way while Summer persists.

I worked out the other day and I still feel sore. But it’s a nice feeling… I’m working for something. It’s a good pain. I’ve been stretching a lot more too. I got my forward splits with both legs almost completely to the floor, so now I’m working on my middle splits.

I’ve had a cough for the past four days. It’s from cigarettes. I should quit soon, but I won’t.